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Two and a half screws loose: Charlie Sheen during his 2011 Tiger Blood phase
Even measured against our most cynical expectations for celebrity misbehavior, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen represent a gold standard.
And the same cynics might say that for all three, it seems to be paying well.
Simon Cowell admitted this week that yeah, he thinks Spears would be a great fit for one of those two big old empty judges chairs on The X Factor this fall.
He didnt address the specific reports he had offered Britney $ 15 million to take the seat. But clearly the conversation is underway, and its safe to assume the check, which Simon has the authority to cut, would be large.
Its possible that by the time you read this, she will have already signed up and even if she hasnt, Simon has reminded us that just floating her name gets our collective ears perked up.
Meanwhile, Lifetime this week confirmed that Lohan, despite another after-hours incident, remains its choice to play Elizabeth Taylor in the movie Liz and Dick.
And were less than 10 weeks from the June 28 premiere of Anger Management, the new FX sitcom that stars Charlie Sheen.
Given most of the headlines that Spears, Lohan and Sheen have generated in recent years, some might ask a question more commonly associated with parents of disobedient ado lescents.
Are we, as child psychologists say, rewarding the behavior?
Well, duh.
Thats exactly what were doing. This is the free market of entertainment at its purest, selling the public a chance to see performers whose misdeeds have put them even more prominently into our celebrity gossip conversation.
In one sense, it doesnt matter at all that Spears went through months when she was chopping off her hair, smashing car windows, marrying strangers and generally acting so disconnected that a court decided she couldnt be trusted to handle her own money.
It doesnt matter that as she prepares to marry again, her fianc is asking a court to order that she not be left in charge of anything more critical than picking her own toothpaste.
Yet in another sense, these foolish things matter greatly. They made Spears a better story when she came back with a new record and they increase our interest in seeing her on X Factor.
That inc reases her brand value, which in turn accounts for those $ 15 million reports. Its safe to say neither Simon Cowell nor anyone else would be paying $ 15 million just for her judging experience, which as far as we know hasnt gone much beyond the aforementioned toothpaste.
Lohans recent rsum features drugs and busts and rehabs and public fights with her family. Perhaps thats considered prep for a role as Elizabeth Taylor, who had her own medication and alcohol issues, but in the real world of celebrity valuation it has also made her more of a curiosity, and thus a more valuable commodity.
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