Simon says - Holy Cow-ell!

Simon says - Holy Cow-ell!

Simon Cowell's biography, "Sweet Revenge: The Intimate Life of Simon Cowell," will be available in the U.S. on May 1.

SIMON COWELL pondered wooing fellow American Idol judge Paula Abdul for a night of passion until he considered the morning after.

We would have to have a conversation afterwards, and I dont know what we would have said, the caustic Cowell declared about his decision to dodge any carnal delights with the temperamental Abdul.

The hookup that never happened is detailed in Sweet Revenge: The Intimate Life of Simon Cowell, a tell-all biography of the British musi c mogul that paints him as snarky, self-obsessed, cruel and combative.

The Daily News acquired a copy of the 422-page book in London. It will be available May 1 in the U.S.

Author Tom Bower quotes the multimillionaire host of The X Factor turning thumbs down on several fellow celebrities:


l On Paul McCartney and ex-wife Heather Mills: He can have sex . . . and buy her presents, but you dont marry her.
l On Jennifer Lopez, now an Idol judge: Ive never met her, but I cant stand her.

Despite his hands-off approach with Abdul, the book details Cowells steamy secret affair with singer Kylie Minogues sister Dannii, his obsession with X Factor judge Cheryl Cole and his love of lap dances.

Cowell, 52, actually cooperated on the book with Bower, granting the writer interviews and access to his private jet, his California home and his yacht in the south of France.

The results likely left Cowell cringing even more than his Idol encounter with tone-deaf William Hung.

According to the book, Cowell once considered making the move from pop music to popsicle negotiating a $ 100,000 deal with a Swiss cryogenics firm to freeze his corpse so scientists could later reanimate it.

The razor-tongued Cowell got cold feet and pulled out of his frozen future because of the possible reaction of his old flames.

Imagine what all my ex-girlfriends would do if they just looked at my dead head! said Cowell. No way!

Cowells famous temper flashes in several anecdotes, including a near-fistfight with tennis great John McEnroe in a London hotel lobby.

McEnroe became enraged when Cowell asked him to stop being rude to staff, the book said.

Fellow Idol judge Randy Jackson invited Cowell to step outside after the boisterous Brit insulted one white contestant, calling the person a monkey.

The bio also de tails Cowells notorious self-absorption, which prompted Abdul to say that he was the only person who calls out his own name during sex.

At Cowells 50th birthday party, guests were asked to bring a gift and a mirror for the preening honoree who received 179 mirrors.

Singer Carly Simon, in a recorded speech, joked to revelers at yet another party that her song Youre So Vain was inspired by Cowell.

His former longtime girlfriend Terri Seymour recalled that Cowells vast collection of lotions, bath salts and other beauty products left no room for her makeup in their bathroom.

The book also reports that Cowells bathroom in Beverly Hills inexplicably features black toilet paper.

Cowell encouraged Seymour to get breast implants as a nice little treat for herself an invitation that the dark-haired lovely refused.

The book also suggests that Simon wasnt always the perma-tanned macho man of 2012.

As a child, he was more of a mommys boy so much that mother Julie has joked that his nickname as a child was Mummy, look at me!

lmcshane@nydailynews.com