David Handschuh/New York Daily News
Joe Pantoliano
Joe Pantoliano fans, be warned. Whatever you do, dont call the actor Ralph his characters name on The Sopranos.
Its sure to set him off. But it also helped him finally get diagnosed for clinical depression, which is the inspiration for his new book.
Asylum Hollywood Tales From My Great Depression: Brain Dis-Ease, Recovery and Being My Mothers Son has just been released, in time for Mental Health Awareness Month.
I was making a movie called Canvas, says Joey Pants. I had just finished working on The Sopranos a year earlier and I found that its fan base couldnt discern the characters from human life.
Theyd always call me Ralph, he explains. And it pissed me off. They would try to give me a compliment, but I was offended by it for the longest time.
Theyd say, Hows Tony? Tony doesnt exist, you fing dope! His name is James Gandolfini! It was like I was on a campaign.
His mood at the time, the loss of a close friend to suicide, and playing the husband of a schizophrenic woman in Canvas led Pantoliano to seek help after the films 2006 release.
The actor, now 60, was diagnosed with clinical depression in 2007, explaining decades of suffering and self-medicating.
Before getting help, he sought solace in what he calls the Seven Deadly Symptoms: his addictions to food, sex, vanity, alcohol, prescription drugs, shopping and fame.
He overate as a kid in Hoboken, where he grew up with an extremely controlling mom
.
I dont know what she had, Pantoliano says. She was in a bad mood. Mental Dis-Ease, like in my case in most cases people arent diagnosed for 10 years because they think its them.
What I was going through, depression, is such an insidious disease because it just stops you, he adds. It sneaks up on you and you dont really know. And that can vary in conditions.
Pantoliano prefers using brain dis-ease over mental illness, which he says can create a stigma. He believes dis-ease sounds less permanent and more manageable.
Being dyslexic, Pantoliano struggled in school.
I had a lot of shame over that because I seriously tried to figure out what was on the page, he says. When my mother would help me, she would get really frustrated and upset. And her anger made me angry.
So I said, F this, Pantoliano adds. If Im going to get yelled at for trying this hard and be humiliated for it; and that happened at school, too. ... So I would pretend I was so sick my mother would rush me to the hospital because of the anxiety of a big test
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